Post by Bernice "Bubbles" Gumm on Dec 21, 2011 18:38:48 GMT -5
[attr=class,appbox]
 | [attr=class,appfield]BERNICE CICELY GUMM | ||
[attr=class,appfield]FEMALE | [attr=class,appfield]26 | [attr=class,appfield]LESBIAN | |
[attr=class,appfield]PLASMA | [attr=class,appfield]ASPIRING ACTOR (EX PORN STAR) | [attr=class,appfield]OOC ALIAS | |
[attr=class,appmeat]
[attr=class,apptitle]APPEARANCE
[attr=class,apptxt][b]fuck[/b] - she's not on the list any more i forget, [i]help[/i]
If you see me on the streets and swear that you've seen me somewhere, you probably have. I've starred in so many porno's that I can't remember the number. Considering that you're reading this on my website I hardly think you need to be told that. Then again I don't think you need a written description of me, but my 'agent' 'highly suggested it'. In the business world that means “shut the fuck up and do it”.
I've got eyes as large as any Disney princess, and they're hazely gold like they belong to some new age vampire (in fact, I've even been in a porny-parody where I played some vampire chick). They're easily the prettiest thing on my face, not that that's really saying much. My nose is practically that one kid you hated most in highschool, but only because he kicked you in the shins whenever you were in the same the room with him; fat, ugly, and covered with blackheads. My lips are thin, so they're often covered with lipstick to try and make them look bigger. Thanks to my profession I can do this well. My face is still pretty young looking, and has what the last director called 'youthful spirit', whatever the fuck that means.
Now, onto my body. Me breasts are like two roes that are twins - just kidding, but that's apparently in the bible. If I had to describe my boobs as animals, I'd say that they're lucky squirrels. They were born with two tails, but then one got pulled off. I'm not trying to say that I have a uni-boob here, what I'm trying to say is that I've had breast reduction surgery. With such a young looking face it was beneficial to have the body to match so I can be passed off as 'barely legal'. I bet I just ruined half of my videos for the pedos out there. It's amazing no one notices the scars, but makeup is a magical thing.
Next we've got my stomach. If I'm going to have a job where I'm naked most of the time you'd better believe I look after myself! I'm not quite six-pack material (because really, gross), but I'm rarely referred to as fat, and when I am it's by some chick who only eats a bowl of high fibre cereal every day. My hips follow the same pattern, being small and probably horrible for childbirth. Good thing I've never planned to have kids. Besides, who really wants their kids to know that Mummy was in an 'adult' version of their favourite movie, wonderfully named Beauty and the Breasts? My legs are pretty awesome, too. Of course, when your most remembered video involves kicking down a prison wall to get to a bunch of helpless young women, no one expects you to have cellulite.
Considering my job, it shouldn't be too hard to work out what sort of clothes I own. Pretty much everything that the industry calls 'sexy'. What's funny is that I don't ever wear them out. There'd be something wrong with going on a first date in a dress that I associate with sex. Usually I'm pretty conservative. I own a number of turtle-necks and just as many pairs of jeans. If it's hot I'm not going to kill myself in the name of keeping my skin away from prying eyes; I've got skirts, dresses, t-shirts and all that line of clothing as well. I rather like the way light yellow shirts look with my hair, but I'm open to other colours. With my usual outfits I wear a little bit of make-up. I wear it so often at work that I feel strange without any at all.
Lastly, I'd like to tell you about my hair. You can see how in these pictures it changes length a lot, right? “Bubbles,” you ask, looking at me with large, pathetic, eyes, “Do you have magical powers that let your hair grow as quickly as you want it to?”. No, I don't and, quite frankly, you're an idiot for even entertaining the idea. I use hair extensions a lot. They were hard to find in my exact colour (pink, to all of you normal people, LightRose#973 to all of you people who know about hair extensions). My hair is also pretty wavy, but only with the extensions in; it's naturally boring. But hey, you don't care about that, you care about the fact that I look a little bit like the twelve year old who lives down the street and wears skirts so short that you can't help but lust over her. You sick fuck.
If you see me on the streets and swear that you've seen me somewhere, you probably have. I've starred in so many porno's that I can't remember the number. Considering that you're reading this on my website I hardly think you need to be told that. Then again I don't think you need a written description of me, but my 'agent' 'highly suggested it'. In the business world that means “shut the fuck up and do it”.
I've got eyes as large as any Disney princess, and they're hazely gold like they belong to some new age vampire (in fact, I've even been in a porny-parody where I played some vampire chick). They're easily the prettiest thing on my face, not that that's really saying much. My nose is practically that one kid you hated most in highschool, but only because he kicked you in the shins whenever you were in the same the room with him; fat, ugly, and covered with blackheads. My lips are thin, so they're often covered with lipstick to try and make them look bigger. Thanks to my profession I can do this well. My face is still pretty young looking, and has what the last director called 'youthful spirit', whatever the fuck that means.
Now, onto my body. Me breasts are like two roes that are twins - just kidding, but that's apparently in the bible. If I had to describe my boobs as animals, I'd say that they're lucky squirrels. They were born with two tails, but then one got pulled off. I'm not trying to say that I have a uni-boob here, what I'm trying to say is that I've had breast reduction surgery. With such a young looking face it was beneficial to have the body to match so I can be passed off as 'barely legal'. I bet I just ruined half of my videos for the pedos out there. It's amazing no one notices the scars, but makeup is a magical thing.
Next we've got my stomach. If I'm going to have a job where I'm naked most of the time you'd better believe I look after myself! I'm not quite six-pack material (because really, gross), but I'm rarely referred to as fat, and when I am it's by some chick who only eats a bowl of high fibre cereal every day. My hips follow the same pattern, being small and probably horrible for childbirth. Good thing I've never planned to have kids. Besides, who really wants their kids to know that Mummy was in an 'adult' version of their favourite movie, wonderfully named Beauty and the Breasts? My legs are pretty awesome, too. Of course, when your most remembered video involves kicking down a prison wall to get to a bunch of helpless young women, no one expects you to have cellulite.
Considering my job, it shouldn't be too hard to work out what sort of clothes I own. Pretty much everything that the industry calls 'sexy'. What's funny is that I don't ever wear them out. There'd be something wrong with going on a first date in a dress that I associate with sex. Usually I'm pretty conservative. I own a number of turtle-necks and just as many pairs of jeans. If it's hot I'm not going to kill myself in the name of keeping my skin away from prying eyes; I've got skirts, dresses, t-shirts and all that line of clothing as well. I rather like the way light yellow shirts look with my hair, but I'm open to other colours. With my usual outfits I wear a little bit of make-up. I wear it so often at work that I feel strange without any at all.
Lastly, I'd like to tell you about my hair. You can see how in these pictures it changes length a lot, right? “Bubbles,” you ask, looking at me with large, pathetic, eyes, “Do you have magical powers that let your hair grow as quickly as you want it to?”. No, I don't and, quite frankly, you're an idiot for even entertaining the idea. I use hair extensions a lot. They were hard to find in my exact colour (pink, to all of you normal people, LightRose#973 to all of you people who know about hair extensions). My hair is also pretty wavy, but only with the extensions in; it's naturally boring. But hey, you don't care about that, you care about the fact that I look a little bit like the twelve year old who lives down the street and wears skirts so short that you can't help but lust over her. You sick fuck.
[attr=class,apptitle]PERSONALITY
[attr=class,apptxt]So, you want to know all about me? I would guess so, since you clicked the 'bio' button, but with websites like these you never really know. To start off with, you should know that even though I go by 'Bubbles' that isn't my actual name. Crazy world, right? My real name is Bernice Gumm, which you absolutely can not deny sounds like a fucking gum disease. On the off chance that you're a mentally challenged twelve year old, I'd like to point out that I'm very female, and proof that not all lesbians are butch. This next part might come as a surprise to you, so brace yourself – I'm 25 years old. Good thing, too, since if I were as young as I look I'd be stuck in the ghost town known as Kairo City, in the 'glorious' region of Anrui. Really, I'm confident that my home town is shitty enough to stop people from stalking my family, or whatever. Speaking of family, I've got a pretty cool one; a nice mum, a cool dad, a sweet sister.
So, here's where things take a turn for the worst. My personality. Well, I guess I should break it down into little bite sized chunks. It's hard to describe my personality as a whole. Seriously, you spend the next few days really thinking of how you would describe your personality if you were to write about.
To start off, apparently I'm fucking retarded, since I keep on writing 'describle' instead of describe.
I actually don't swear that much.
Just at work and on the internet. Both places are pretty much breeding grounds for swear words. Real life... isn't. Don't get me wrong, though; if I'm around a big swearer I'll probably join in. I most certainly will not chastise someone for swearing, nor will I swear around someone who's uncomfortable with it. I'm not that much of a jerk.
I love kids.
If this needs explaining then you've clearly never seen a child. They're probably the cutest things that have ever existed. If I weren't a porn star then I'd want one of my own. I'd feed it, and walk it, and play with it and all that BS.
I have a sense of humour.
Up to you to decide if it's good or not, fuckcakes. I don't take myself too seriously, because we all know that leads to being an angtsy artist who can only make friends online. I don't take you too seriously, either. This can make me a bit of a bitch, but that hardly matters.
I like to act.
What other reasons are there for getting into porn? It's not like anyone wakes up one day and says 'I really want to have sex for money'. On second though, there are probably heaps of people that say that but then never do. I guess it takes a certain amount of awesome to actually do it. That's not why I'm a porn star, though, I was just a small town girl who couldn't get a part until I decided to star in the sort of film that no one would tell their parents about.
I'm actually kind of shy.
Surprising, right? It should be, since I try very hard not to act shy. Basically, if I don't know I'm probably not going to talk to you, and I'm almost certainly not going to ask you if you want to 'go somewhere privet'. That's not to say that I'll start crying if you look at me, just that we won't be insta BFFs. I can almost hear hear your sobbing now.
My thoughts on Pokemon.
They're cool. Not worth joining Plasma over, but cool.
So, here's where things take a turn for the worst. My personality. Well, I guess I should break it down into little bite sized chunks. It's hard to describe my personality as a whole. Seriously, you spend the next few days really thinking of how you would describe your personality if you were to write about.
To start off, apparently I'm fucking retarded, since I keep on writing 'describle' instead of describe.
I actually don't swear that much.
Just at work and on the internet. Both places are pretty much breeding grounds for swear words. Real life... isn't. Don't get me wrong, though; if I'm around a big swearer I'll probably join in. I most certainly will not chastise someone for swearing, nor will I swear around someone who's uncomfortable with it. I'm not that much of a jerk.
I love kids.
If this needs explaining then you've clearly never seen a child. They're probably the cutest things that have ever existed. If I weren't a porn star then I'd want one of my own. I'd feed it, and walk it, and play with it and all that BS.
I have a sense of humour.
Up to you to decide if it's good or not, fuckcakes. I don't take myself too seriously, because we all know that leads to being an angtsy artist who can only make friends online. I don't take you too seriously, either. This can make me a bit of a bitch, but that hardly matters.
I like to act.
What other reasons are there for getting into porn? It's not like anyone wakes up one day and says 'I really want to have sex for money'. On second though, there are probably heaps of people that say that but then never do. I guess it takes a certain amount of awesome to actually do it. That's not why I'm a porn star, though, I was just a small town girl who couldn't get a part until I decided to star in the sort of film that no one would tell their parents about.
I'm actually kind of shy.
Surprising, right? It should be, since I try very hard not to act shy. Basically, if I don't know I'm probably not going to talk to you, and I'm almost certainly not going to ask you if you want to 'go somewhere privet'. That's not to say that I'll start crying if you look at me, just that we won't be insta BFFs. I can almost hear hear your sobbing now.
My thoughts on Pokemon.
They're cool. Not worth joining Plasma over, but cool.
[attr=class,apptitle]HISTORY
[attr=class,apptxt]I guess it's time for my life story, right? Well, it all started when I was born. Unfortunately, I can't remember that day, so this first paragraph will be my best guess. After that it'll all be what I can actually remember (or have been told), so don't worry. On the day of my birth, the world was busy fighting aliens. They were green with large eyes, and could only speak Greek. My mother, who could not speak Greek, went into labour. The aliens immediately started trying to track her down. It didn't take long for my mum to get herself to a hospital, where doctors stopped paying attention to Anthony Greywood – a man who had his leg shot off by an alien lazer gun – in order to help my mother give birth. Good thing, too, since the second I was delivered the aliens started to scream in pain. My very existence killed them all. And that's how I saved man kind before I took my first breath.
Speaking of taking my first breath, my mum loves to tell the story of how I almost died when I was born. It was the whole 'umbilical cord wrapped around my neck' deal. I was lucky to of survived it, mum says, but I disagree since there are so many stories just like it and I've never heard of a kid dying that way. Then again, I haven't scoured the internet for stories with no proof, so what would I know?
I'm told I was a strange baby. I disagree. Most kids stick things in their mouths when they really shouldn't. For me, this was bugs. I didn't really care what bug I was eating, as far as anyone knows. You'd think this bug eating thing would give me nerves of steel when it comes to creepy crawlies, but it did just the opposite; now when I see a bug (or bug-type, whatever) I think about how I would of eaten it and begin to feel quite sick. Thank god I'm not a Pokemon trainer.
Save for my near death experience, my bug eating, the fact I saved the planet, and invented the submarine, my childhood was pretty uneventful. I was eventually graced with a little sister, who I certainly didn't get along with at the time. We fought like a cat and dog. Good times.
I did reasonably well at school. I even managed to go through the whole thing before running off to chase my dreams, but more about that later. I made some friends, had some laughs, was laughed at a little. Yeah, you read that right. By highschool when I was showing no 'development' I got bullied for it. I still remember the names they'd call me. But this isn't about me complaining, so I'll spare you the boredom. Just know that there are a lot of creative things kids can do with the name 'Bernice'.
By the end of highschool my sister was my only friend. I'd reacted badly to the bullying – that is to say, I flipped my shit – and no one wanted to talk to me any more. Tragic story, really, I should write a book about it. Going through the rough patch made me the person I am today though, so no complaints.
When I was finished with school I did the usual thing that people did; looked for a job. I probably should of gotten into something normal, but noooo, I had to go and try to be an actor. It was a bad plan, and that fact was emphasised by a lot of 'don't call us, we'll call you' moments.
Time got hard. I was flipping burgers for minimum wage, getting turned down at every corner... it wasn't a surprise that when I was offered a role I jumped at the chance. I hardly batted an eye when I was told what sort of movie it was; I was desperate.
Man, I'm making this sound like I got into prostitution. I guess, in a way, I did.
So, skip forward to where my parents found out. Dad found one of my movies and, well, there was a whole lot of awkward. We talked it through, and they assured me that they still loved me. They also assured me that they wouldn't watch any of my movies. I don't think my sister knows my career. I hope not.
Edit: I'm out.
I'm off to join Plasma.
Speaking of taking my first breath, my mum loves to tell the story of how I almost died when I was born. It was the whole 'umbilical cord wrapped around my neck' deal. I was lucky to of survived it, mum says, but I disagree since there are so many stories just like it and I've never heard of a kid dying that way. Then again, I haven't scoured the internet for stories with no proof, so what would I know?
I'm told I was a strange baby. I disagree. Most kids stick things in their mouths when they really shouldn't. For me, this was bugs. I didn't really care what bug I was eating, as far as anyone knows. You'd think this bug eating thing would give me nerves of steel when it comes to creepy crawlies, but it did just the opposite; now when I see a bug (or bug-type, whatever) I think about how I would of eaten it and begin to feel quite sick. Thank god I'm not a Pokemon trainer.
Save for my near death experience, my bug eating, the fact I saved the planet, and invented the submarine, my childhood was pretty uneventful. I was eventually graced with a little sister, who I certainly didn't get along with at the time. We fought like a cat and dog. Good times.
I did reasonably well at school. I even managed to go through the whole thing before running off to chase my dreams, but more about that later. I made some friends, had some laughs, was laughed at a little. Yeah, you read that right. By highschool when I was showing no 'development' I got bullied for it. I still remember the names they'd call me. But this isn't about me complaining, so I'll spare you the boredom. Just know that there are a lot of creative things kids can do with the name 'Bernice'.
By the end of highschool my sister was my only friend. I'd reacted badly to the bullying – that is to say, I flipped my shit – and no one wanted to talk to me any more. Tragic story, really, I should write a book about it. Going through the rough patch made me the person I am today though, so no complaints.
When I was finished with school I did the usual thing that people did; looked for a job. I probably should of gotten into something normal, but noooo, I had to go and try to be an actor. It was a bad plan, and that fact was emphasised by a lot of 'don't call us, we'll call you' moments.
Time got hard. I was flipping burgers for minimum wage, getting turned down at every corner... it wasn't a surprise that when I was offered a role I jumped at the chance. I hardly batted an eye when I was told what sort of movie it was; I was desperate.
Man, I'm making this sound like I got into prostitution. I guess, in a way, I did.
So, skip forward to where my parents found out. Dad found one of my movies and, well, there was a whole lot of awkward. We talked it through, and they assured me that they still loved me. They also assured me that they wouldn't watch any of my movies. I don't think my sister knows my career. I hope not.
Edit: I'm out.
I'm off to join Plasma.
[attr=class,apptitle]MISC.
[attr=class,apptxt]Movie deal fell through; needs new work
